Yout00b: The Chronicles of Bernice “DaxFlame” Jauch III

This man.

This. . . Being, this Godsent entity of pure awesomeness. . .

DaxFlame, Bernice Jauch, Falsie McPalsie.

He goes by many a name, but I call him “Son of God”. He is, without a doubt, the best Vlogger on the interwebz, and without him; a supermassive black-hole would emerge in the centre of our solar system, sucking us all in and effectively killing us. He is, hands down, able to save the world. Simply by yelling out “CHIKA-CHIKA WHAAAT”. If it wasn’t because his life consisted of Vlogging and peeing, he would’ve gone to the Middle-east, yelled out “CHIKA-CHIKA WHAAAT” and thereby manage to cease all ongoing wars in the world, if not the entire universe. Hell, multiverses even.

Anyway, who is Sir DaxFlame? Nobody knows for sure. He is much like The Stig from Top Gear: Mysterious, anonymous and simply awesome. DaxFlame claimed to be called Bernice Jauch III, but recently (well, some months ago) made a Vlog inwhich he apologized for lying to the masses. I was greatly shocked. In fact, I banged my head against the bathroom wall whilst crying out loud. It was too much of a blow, my childhood Hero had lied to me. I consulted a several shrinks before meeting one who told me to stand on top of a roof and yell out “CHIKA-CHIKA WHAAAT” repetively. I did so, and I felt ever so lonely. . .

DaxFlame, if you are reading this. . .

Come home.