Games I Think I Enjoy: Far Cry 2

Far Cry 2 is, in short, a racist’s dream. It’s based in Africa (yes, it’s a real place), more specifically in some unnamed, 50km2-small country fighting for its own survival. It’s also surrounded by mountains, and if you try to run over those mountains you suddenly get severely, and thoroughly, buttraped by malaria, AIDS, scurvy and all those other diseases that muslims get (no offence).

You pick a character, and there’s only one woman. She ain’t hot, so fuck her. She’s also French, and can’t do anything that doesn’t involve shooting, push-ups and/or dieing after literally sticking a billion syrettes filled with Liquid Life into her. She can carry a 50 caliber (big gun for big men with big cocks) gun in one hand, and carry fifteen children in the other. She’s ugly.

After you pick a bitch, the bitch gets malaria and stumbled around a forest for about 25 hours. Then you either die or complete a mission. After you’ve completed that mission, about 33 other missions follow. And they are AWESOME, in capital fucking letters.

Inbetween those you have to do small side missions, like work for an arms dealer and shoot up some Osamas with a sniper rifle, but it’s all good.

So, after you get betrayed by this son of a bitchfucker, PROSPER KUASSI or something, you have to back and kill him. So you kill him, which is fucking easy, and then you run off to the SOUTHERN part of that small country. I haven’t got any further, as I’m still grinding my cock over the fact that if you light a bush, IT SPREADS.

NEW ADDITION:

So, I kinda walked around looking for a weapon place so I could buy a huge-ass fucking gun named AS50 or something. (Lol, AS50 = ASSO. I’m pathetic. . .) I finally got to this place, and the guy is like “Hello Hello, my name is Mexican Arms-Dealer, and my fifteen twins dressed in the same clothes as I whom are spread all over this little war-torn, central-African country will sell you a very big gun (and a not so big gun), if you blow up these infedels.” So I went and blew up some infedels and the guy is like: “Congratulations Senór, now you can buy a big gun (and a not so big gun), but you have no money so fuck you,” and then he leaves you out in the cold. With ‘cold’ I mean ‘Hell’, because you almost die of malaria the moment you exit the store.

Fuck I hate Africa. More to come.